Christian Dating Advice for Women: Top 13 Tips
- July 23, 2020
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In a world where immorality is made to seem cool, Christian dating advice for women is essential. But there’s so much advice out there about dating that it can get confusing.
The stereotypes attached to Christian dating can cause someone to settle for less. But with the right Christian dating advice, you can enter into a relationship that glorifies God.
The Bible doesn’t tackle the topic of dating directly. However, it talks about marriage and honoring God in every area of our lives. Meaning that there are verses in the Bible that we can use as guidance for Christian dating.
Marriage was the first institution that God set in place (Genesis 2:24). That’s why Christians, at least most of them don’t date for the sake of it. For true believers, dating is a step towards marriage. Make a wrong move, and you’ll spend the rest of your life regretting it.
Why is Christian Dating so Hard?
Christian dating is not the same as modern-day dating. We are supposed to maintain purity until marriage. But dating can awaken desires that should only be awakened in marriage. That is why most Christians find the process of dating hard, so they only do the courtship and get married.
Another primary reason why Christian dating is hard is we have more specifications of the person we want to marry. Our faith doesn’t allow us to settle for anybody, this makes the process of dating more difficult for us.
If you are struggling to date, then know that you’re not alone. So many Christian women find dating to be challenging; that is why some of them are not doing it actively. They’ve left the whole dating process to God and expect Him to magically drop a husband at their door front.
But God doesn’t work that way.
Here are 13 dating advice tips for women that will help you know what to do and look for:
Avoid Unequally Yoked Relationships
We have heard this so many times, but it is worth repeating. Do not be yoked to someone who does not share your faith. It will only breed room for disaster as you will not be in agreement about most of the things.
Yeah, sure it’s tempting to settle with that guy because he seems to have all other qualities. You will pray for him, and God will change his heart, so you say. He’s ok with you being a Christian and respects your faith. Well, this may look cute when you’re dating, but it will not be the same in marriage.
See, this same person will be easily offended by your faith once you get married. He will force you to compromise and expect you to do things his way, not God’s way. There will be times when you will have to choose between him and God.
The word of God is clear about this, we should not be yoked with unbelievers. Christian women who are in unequally yoked marriages wish they could turn back the hand of time. They’ve had to compromise their faith just so they can please their husbands. So watch out! (2Corinthians 6:14)
Related Article: Top 19 Best Devotions for Dating Couples.
Don’t Date a Man you’re not going to Marry
It sounds like fun having someone who pays attention to you and treats you like a queen. But the thing is if you’re going to do Christian dating, you want to be intentional about it. We worship a very systematic God, and as his children, we need to emulate him. God does not want you to waste your time on unfruitful ventures.
Be intentional about your dating life. It doesn’t mean that you should see every man as a potential husband. But don’t be in a relationship that is heading nowhere. Don’t waste your time, and most of all, don’t waste someone’s time. If you’re not ready to date, then it is better to focus on seeking the kingdom of God first and chasing after your dreams and goals.
Do not settle for less
Let’s be honest. Most people, mainly women, have settled for marriage partners that are not their ideal husbands. They tried their level best to follow every Christian dating advice for women but gave up along the way. Why? Things were not going the way they wanted.
It may be hard but ask God to give you patience and wisdom. Patience will enable you to walk in his ways when dating.
Set Realistic Goals
Do you know why some Christian women end up single and bitter? It is because they have unrealistic expectations about their future husband. You’ll continue to be stuck in the dating cycle if you have unrealistic expectations.
The truth is no one is perfect, including you. So there is no perfect man out there waiting to sweep you off your feet. Marriage is a process, and like any other relationship, there will be ups and downs. Yes, it’s possible to get a man who matches most of your qualities, but they will not be 100% perfect.
Find Completion in God, not Man
The word of God tells us to seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness. And every other thing will be added unto us. You need to seek first the kingdom of God because it is only in Christ that you will find completion.
Hollywood has made us believe that a woman cannot be complete without a man and vice versa. But that is simply not true. Our completion as children of God comes from Christ. Jesus should be your all in all, not a man.
Yes, marriage is important, it is an institution that was put up by God. But Adam was complete before Eve was created. He already had a relationship with God. It is God who said, “it is not good for man to be alone.” (Genesis 2:18)
See, that man you want so bad will fail you. But God will not fail you. Find completion in God first before the man.
Related Article: How to Become a Godly Woman Worth Pursuing.
There needs to be chemistry between the two of you
I must start by saying chemistry alone is not enough for you to marry and date someone. But you don’t want to end up with someone you don’t feel attracted to. Now don’t get it wrong sometimes, people start off by just being friends, and others don’t start out great. But even then, the two of you should have some level of chemistry.
Heal from Past Relationships
How would you feel if someone was suspicious of you just because of what their former girlfriend did to them? Bad right? Your past relationships should not be a factor in your new relationship. Most especially if you want a relationship that will lead to marriage.
Take time to heal from your past relationship before getting into another relationship. Allow God to deal with your heart and choose to let go of the pain.
Be Careful of Guys who look Perfect
Yes, you want the most perfect guy in the world, we all do. But be careful of someone who comes off as being too perfect. Such men are always covering up their flaws just so they can get what they want from you.
Settle for a man that you can relate with easily. Someone who will accept you with your flaws just the way you’ve accepted him the way he is.
Trust God to lead you to the right man
Does God care about your dating life? Yes, he does. Your heavenly Father cares about all areas of your life, including who you’ll end up married to. As a matter of fact, your heavenly Father is keen on raising Kingdom marriages. He wants his children to be joined together for the glory of his name.
So before you try all Christian dating advice for women that you’ve read and heard go to God first. Allow him to lead you in the way that you should go when it comes to dating. (Psalm 32:8)
Don’t get me wrong. Allowing God to lead you to the right man does not mean that you sit there and leave him to do everything for you. Socialize with others and go on group dates. Do what God is telling you so that you can be found by the right man.
Rebecca left her home country to meet Isaac. Ruth had to follow Naomi’s advice for her to end up as Boaz’s wife. You need to partner with God in this.
Take Everything to God
You will hear a lot of things about dating. Some people believe purity means you cannot hold hands or kiss before marriage. Others have no issues with holding hands. Don’t follow every advice you get. Go to God; he knows what will work for you and what will not work. It is only God who knows your weaknesses and strengths. It is only him who can show you what to do and what not to do.
Most people have the best intentions at heart for you. But spend time with God and ask him to show you what to do concerning your dating life.
Listen to your family and friends
You need to listen to your friends and family. They may warn you about someone or point out red flags that you have missed. It doesn’t mean that they are wrong, or they don’t have your best interest at heart. They care about you, so listen to them. (Proverbs 11:14)
When you are given advice, don’t be quick to share it with your boyfriend, especially if it is negative. Ask God for wisdom and revelation so that you can see if what they are telling you is the truth. Your own friends or family members can have their personal issues with someone. Or they may be telling you the truth, be wise.
Think about the future
It’s easy to get caught up in the now when you find someone that you are really attracted to. The two of you may be focused on what is happening now. You may forget to look at the future. Yes, the future may not be guaranteed, especially if you’re starting out. But it’s worth talking about so that you can know the intentions of the man.
Don’t think about your wedding day only, you need to think beyond that. Talk about where you will live and how you will be as a family. You don’t have to do this right away. But when the relationship gets serious, the two of you should start thinking about such things.
Many people who focus on the now instead of the future end up messing up. Be careful not to end up like that.
Related Article: How To Pray Effective For A Godly Husband.
Look for Character not just Looks
The media has made us believe that a perfect man is one with a six-pack and great looks. But that is not true, looks fade. If you want to have a lasting marriage, then focus on someone’s character, not his looks or his talents.
Character is what separates good men from those that want to play with your head. It is what makes us stand out from the rest of the people. As you look for someone with a good character, make sure that you work on your character too. God will not give you his son so that you can mess him up with your bad character. There needs to be a balance.
All in all
There’s so much you can learn through Christian dating advice for women. But ultimately, the best dating advice tips for women comes from the person who started the institution of marriage, God. God wants you to build a kingdom marriage for the glory of his name.
Understand that there is no perfect man out there. But there is someone right for you somewhere, you need to be patient.
When it comes to Christian dating advice for women, each piece of advice is linked with each another. You shouldn’t pick one or five and leave the rest out. Kingdom marriages are hard because they’re not based on feelings, looks, or talent.
You need godly wisdom, patience, and alertness in the spirit for you to end up with the right person. Do not focus on what is happening now. The two of you should also focus on the future too.
Christian Dating Advice for Women Resources.
Relationship Goals: How to Win at Dating, Marriage, and Sex by Michael Todd
The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts by Gary Chapman
The Man God Has For You: 7 traits to Help You Determine Your Life Partner by Stephan Labossiere and Stephan Speaks